The Swingers Board - View Single Post

Elusive BiFem · 03-31-2003, 11:16 PM

OK, OK!! I'll reply to this and a prior post. I just hate doing this - I can't write a short thing to save my life!
First...I was widowed many, many years ago at a very young age (he was, too). I became totally immersed in my career, and while I frequently dated, I really had no desire to marry again. I never wanted kids, so that may have been part of the reason. After this many years of being single and happy with my life 99.9% of the time, I have absolutely no desire to marry. However, I also have no time to waste on the so-called dating scene. I'm not a big party person, drink very little...I'm self-employed and by necessity have to work long hours...and quite frankly, have very little time to invest in a relationship. Also, and important, most men my age (headed towards 54) have the proverbial "baggage" from prior relationships. I don't want to deal with that. So, being the single female involved with a couple can be ideal for me. That being said, I need/require/demand the more long-lasting, personal and friendly relationship with a couple. I've only been involved with 2 couples, both long-term. Both situations have been great - good friends both in and out of the sexual arena.
For me, the best and most satisfying sexual experiences evolve in direct proportion to the emotional/mental relationship. I don't fault those that can involve themselves with different people every week, and in some respects, wish I could. Just doesn't work for me.

Now...regarding the younger single females...I was one of those,, too, but just once. I was much, much, much younger (and much, much, much cuter!!), we had all been the very best of friends for many years...one single time...too much wine (and a few other things) and it just happened. Guilt!! Was I weird or something? As my failing memory will allow me to recall, it was really the greatest (and still the greatest because they were both people I really cared about), but all I did for those many years was worry about it - am I gay? am I bi? or am I just plain weird? And remember, gayness or bisexuality was not as well received/accepted back then. As a young single woman, I would have never pursued any type of relationship with another couple simply because only "bad" people or "gay" people would do that. Nonetheless, that single experience led me (finally!!) to where I am today.

I agree that most youthful single women are looking for relationships (a very time consuming process), but I also think many of them are simply far too young/inexperienced to understand that sexual activities out of the mainstream can be fun, exciting, and don't make you a "bad" person. How many of us encourage our young adult daughters to explore their sexuality? (I don't count - don't have kids and don't know what I would do.) Look back at some of the postings from people who attempt to hide their activity from their older teen/young adult kids. We (generically speaking) have come a long way in our liberal views, but we still have a long way to go. Views will probably change significantly with just one or two more generations. We've already come a long way, baby!!
OK, I'll quit...but I could write more...

03-31-2003, 11:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
Elusive BiFem Active Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 3,400 Location: Texas Status: Single Female	OK, OK!! I'll reply to this and a prior post. I just hate doing this - I can't write a short thing to save my life! First...I was widowed many, many years ago at a very young age (he was, too). I became totally immersed in my career, and while I frequently dated, I really had no desire to marry again. I never wanted kids, so that may have been part of the reason. After this many years of being single and happy with my life 99.9% of the time, I have absolutely no desire to marry. However, I also have no time to waste on the so-called dating scene. I'm not a big party person, drink very little...I'm self-employed and by necessity have to work long hours...and quite frankly, have very little time to invest in a relationship. Also, and important, most men my age (headed towards 54) have the proverbial "baggage" from prior relationships. I don't want to deal with that. So, being the single female involved with a couple can be ideal for me. That being said, I need/require/demand the more long-lasting, personal and friendly relationship with a couple. I've only been involved with 2 couples, both long-term. Both situations have been great - good friends both in and out of the sexual arena. For me, the best and most satisfying sexual experiences evolve in direct proportion to the emotional/mental relationship. I don't fault those that can involve themselves with different people every week, and in some respects, wish I could. Just doesn't work for me. Now...regarding the younger single females...I was one of those,, too, but just once. I was much, much, much younger (and much, much, much cuter!!), we had all been the very best of friends for many years...one single time...too much wine (and a few other things) and it just happened. Guilt!! Was I weird or something? As my failing memory will allow me to recall, it was really the greatest (and still the greatest because they were both people I really cared about), but all I did for those many years was worry about it - am I gay? am I bi? or am I just plain weird? And remember, gayness or bisexuality was not as well received/accepted back then. As a young single woman, I would have never pursued any type of relationship with another couple simply because only "bad" people or "gay" people would do that. Nonetheless, that single experience led me (finally!!) to where I am today. I agree that most youthful single women are looking for relationships (a very time consuming process), but I also think many of them are simply far too young/inexperienced to understand that sexual activities out of the mainstream can be fun, exciting, and don't make you a "bad" person. How many of us encourage our young adult daughters to explore their sexuality? (I don't count - don't have kids and don't know what I would do.) Look back at some of the postings from people who attempt to hide their activity from their older teen/young adult kids. We (generically speaking) have come a long way in our liberal views, but we still have a long way to go. Views will probably change significantly with just one or two more generations. We've already come a long way, baby!! OK, I'll quit...but I could write more...