Quote:
Originally Posted by havefuninsun  Interesting!
So, I wonder if we threw this question out to the general vanilla public which would be most scorned: Couples who swing, or couples who practice polygamy?
Which would be most scandalous? |
Couples who practice polyamory. Well, that's my opinion anyway.
Ok, with monogamous couples one or the other often cheats. What is said when this comes to light and hits the streets? Well, it's gossip for sure but...have you heard many truly get indignant about it? It's wrong. However, it is accepted.
Next, the swinging couple. Hmmm. What happens when this hits the same streets? OMG, did you hear about _______? Still gossip of course. And stills its wrong. The gossip does move more into a judgmental phase. Something must be wrong in that relationship if they are looking to improve it by having sex with others. How could they share their spouse with someone else for sex? Confusing to some but still, we are just talking about sex here. Most people have something about their sex life that they'd prefer not to be public knowledge.
So, that brings me to the polyamorous couple. When this hits the streets as the other two examples did it'll get a decidedly more judgemental reaponse.
You totally share your partner with someone else? Physically? Emotionally? Are they crazy? Literally. They really need some therapy for this. It's my firm opinion that, while cheating and swinging aren't considered as "right", they are more understandable in people's minds. I mean, sex is all it is. Who hasn't gotten "caught up in the moment" at least one time? But what is wrong with you that you don't want to be the only one your partner
loves? How can you say you love your spouse and still let your spouse love someone else besides you? I think some people equate jealousy with love. If you aren't jealous then you can't possibly love me. Jealousy is a very real thing in the polyamory world I'll have to say. The difference is...here it is dealt with in a constructive manner most of the time. It usually signals another issue that needs work and once it is handled the jealousy can disappear. A polyamory relationship is work...just as a monogamous one is. Just the partners involved think even further out side the box.
I've attempted to give you my reasoning behind my beginning statement that a polyamorist couple would be scorned more than a swinging couple. Finding either so offensive as to leave some practitioners of one or the other afraid of "coming out of the closet" is disturbing. Many reasons can be given for how each is wrong but I think the reason most aren't even willing to see the other side of the coin is fear. Plain and simple.
Vol