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Women say one thing but they really mean another thing. many times women say things like..... (I'm not feeling good. I'm a little ill. But It's ok.
You go ahead with your friends to the movie without me). Yes! she did say you could go to the movies. And if you do go. She will resent you forever for going without her. She will resent you because you did not love her more than your friends. She will always remember you did not care for her when she was not feeling good. She will always remember that your friends are more importan to you than she is. And this resentment will show up again and again in your sex life. Your sex life will suck.
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The first thing I think is why is it automatically assumed that the woman is not telling the truth? Man, that's annoying to think every woman is supposed to be assumed to be playing a word game. Yes, far too many women play this stupid little game of "let me say it, but I hope you get that I really mean the opposite." I get angry with myself if I try (very rarely) to pull this one people in my life - instead I'm just pretty blunt about things. People are not mind readers. If you can't rely on what people say, then what's the point? Say what you mean and mean what you say and end the ridiculous game playing. Not everyone is in an immature marriage where people can't just be open and honest with each other.
I am in an open marriage and if I've told my spouse I am fine with his choices, he is assured it's the truth. I certainly have told him when I'm not fine with his choices. I also don't expect him to read my mind, and I don't insult him by sending coded messages that don't say what needs to be said. I don't expect him to figure out what I'm really saying. There's no resentment. Our sex life doesn't suck. And that's the way it is because there's no assumption that anyone is playing petty little read-my-mind games. It would be wrong of someone else to come in and say that I don't
really mean what I say to him.
I can understand some of the point you might be trying to make. However, I get the feeling he is already feeling his way through to make sure this is actually an acceptable arrangement to his wife. It does seem like they talk a lot. But assuming that she's not telling the truth based on stereotypical woman behavior? I don't want to get too hasty in that assumption and thus miss the point of the posting.