Quote:
Originally Posted by couplewanting50  Do people get into poly because they seek it, and find partners after making that decision, or are they playing and have affections emerge, then evolve into poly relationships? The latter seems more likely to me, but....?
Discuss. |
For us it was swinging evolving into poly. Mrs. WS and I are kind of different that way, too. She likes the connection with someone else. She likes what others offer besides sex. I do to. I don't have the time or energy to pursue another relationship outside our marriage, but I'm completely supportive of her doing so. For her having someone different than me completes another part of her that I simply can't, because I'm not that type of person. Her boyfriends have tended to be much different than me in many ways, physically, mentally, emotionally, interests, etc. They are an addition to herself, not a replacement for me. And I love how happy and totally fulfilled she is when she has another man she is interested in beyond sex.
We kind of stumbled into it also with a single male we were including in our play. Again, he was different than me and therefore brought different things to the table than I, and because they are different they are not a threat to me. Again, it is in addition to me, not in replacement of me. Basically, Mrs. WS fell for him, though to my knowledge the words "I love you" never left her lips or his. I don't think he was in as deep as Mrs. WS was and she/we were too new at poly situations to go there. After several months that relationship ended as he moved-on, however we are all still friends.
We weren't looking for it, it just happened, and what we thought we feared the most when we first got into the lifestyle ended-up not being all that scary at all.
Mr. WS