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Originally Posted by CoupleWanting50 Do people get into poly because they seek it, and find partners after making that decision, or are they playing and have affections emerge, then evolve into poly relationships? The latter seems more likely to me, but....? |
My take would be that there are some people that know intrinsically that they are not meant to be monogamous and do seek out on their own volition a polyamorous relationship. I'd hazard a guess that's actually more of an exception than a rule, that many explore and figure out that they are polyamorous after they've found love with a person in addition to their primary relationship.
I'll be quite interested in the take from those who do consider themselves polyamorous.
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Originally Posted by Fun4Dus This is a very interesting topic. We have not considered this to much in the past, but have always seen the people that do live the poly life acceptable. It dosent seem possible for us, but we have a friend who says occasionaly "I love you" or " I love you guys" So far we are taking it as just an expression. But we are talking about this. Could poly happen to us? We don't think so, but we are looking at things differenty. |
Polyamory is a alternative lifestyle I don't quite understand, so that's why I'm always interested in this forum and the various threads.
I understand the concept of love. I love all sorts of people, as awkward as my personality is. I can love my family, my friends, my spouse - I do in fact "love" some of my friends, some of my family and definitely my spouse. I'd even hazard a guess that I "love", in a platonic fashion, my best friend at the office, in a sense given the amount of time and what we share in and out of the office.
However, even if I love friends, I just don't have the wherewithal to proceed into a formal love/romantic relationship. I guess that's the definition of poly to me - a more formalized, romantic-based relationship style. And under that definition, which could very well be a faulty definition for lack of true understanding, I don't know I could do it. Kudos to your friend for being expressing her appreciation to you - even if it's just an expression. That type of expression is something I have difficulty with in real life to family and friends. I guess I just prefer to try to keep things simple. But I do want to hear about the poly side of things for the sake of consideration.
I agree with your statement that it does make you think and take different approaches to things.