Vol thanks for the update to your situation and reviving this thread...
This is my first time really posting about this so bear with me
My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years and have been best friends for the last 11 years. We dated for about a year and 1/2 in high school as well.. he is my first love and the only person I really allowed myself to love because even when we weren't "together" I felt it would have been betraying my feelings for him to love another in the same way... we've always had great open communication and respect for each other and so about a year ago he mentioned to me the idea of getting into poly type relationships. Neither of us had done anything like it before...
Well about 6 months ago after talking and figuring things out I started dating my boyfriend. He lives out near Chicago and we live in Connecticut as of now, and we spent a wonderful weekend together in October, but finances being what they are haven't been able to get together in person again since.. however we talk online or on the phone pretty much every day..
My husband also has an opportunity if he wishes to establish a relationship of his own, however I must admit that I get jealous to think of him having another woman especially if she is close seeing as my boyfriend is so far away... part of that stems from the fact that I have a high libido and he's happy with once a week.. and that sort of makes me feel that if he found another woman then I'd get it even less...if that makes sense.
We are hoping within the next year at most to be moving to FL permanently and with that my boyfriend also moving down to the area that we'll be going. I don't ever see him living with us and our 3 kids.. I just don't see that being really feasible. And I honestly think at that point if my hubby were to find a gf that I wouldn't have an issue with it..
See we had a bit different ideas I think when we were talking about this. When he said poly and I started researching it I wound up equating it with how you love your kids if you have more than 1 (we have 3) I love all my children equally but not the "same" because they're different individuals. They each have their own personalities and quirks and it's not possible to love them the "same"... just as I love my husband and my boyfriend on 2 different spectrum's. My boyfriend is the second man I've ever really loved because hubby said that it was "okay" to do and therefore I didn't feel like I was betraying him by delving into it.. Hubby thought of it more like really good friends with benefits.. and maybe a bit of feelings but not full on love..
He's had a bit of jealousy if he sees me say "I love you" or am talking to my boyfriend a lot.. and when I see that I take 5 and find out what's going on and do my best to reassure him and resolve any situation..
Okay so a couple questions from you guys..
#1 Is it normal to not plan to ever live together with the other S/O's? Does that work as well or what have you than living together?
#2 I know there's a lot of stuff in the post, do you guys have any suggestions or advice on how to handle the jealousy or just advice in general.. things to look out for or what not. I found a lot of info on poly online, but my husband doesn't really want to read anything on it.. let's rephrase.. he doesn't really read this board or anything related to all this.. he knows I do and if something comes across as pertinent I pass it along, but he'd rather just live life and go as we go.. I tend to take the advice to heart and implement it as necessary so he doesn't really have to lol he just generally follows my lead..
Sorry so long,and seemingly scattered.. there's a lot I want to say and ask but can't quite gather my thoughts at the moment for all of it. If it doesn't belong here in this thread feel free to move it to it's own or whatever
~Blade~