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Originally Posted by intuition897  "Oh" she said, "yeah, it was...WEIRD stuff...what kind of workshop was it?" I explained that it was a workshop on Positive Spaces for people who are in alternative lifestyles. She's laughing nervously throughout our conversation, but not enough.
So if she doesn't take the way out that I've given her (the lie), she'd better be ready for the truth. I'm just not sure she is. I'd love to feel optimistic about the outcome of such a conversation, but you know how arguments against opponents of swinging go.
If we get into it, I might refer her to libchrist.com It's not the be-all-end-all of poly-swinging-Christian theory, but it might be enough to start chewing on. The worst part is, I used to be where she is, and I know exactly how these ramblings must sound to her.
And it's not me that I'm worried about; it's my kids. I don't want them turned against us or thinking that their parents are sick. |
Since she didn't jump on the chance to condemn "they made you attend something like THAT for work!", she sounds like she prefers to avoid things that make her nervous instead of crusading against them. You'll probably never hear a word about it again, just too uncomfortable a topic. It will shortly be pushed to the far recesses of her mind.
If not though, be careful with the truth in this case. There is another path - not the lie, not the truth. It takes two to argue, and there is no winning if the topic is such the other person is not open to other ideas. Any information you provide to justify your position just adds fuel to the fire. We have learned that lesson first hand (not a Lifestyle topic, but one equally damning in their mind). You can try to repeatedly reason with them by providing more information, or you can simply state the first time "I'm sorry if it bothers you, but you have no right to be involved in this decision, and the discussion is over, now and forever." If the disagreement is with someone who does truly care for you, it will eventually pass either way. The first approach might be easier in the short term since it is less confrontational, but it sure is a lot more drawn out and painful in the long run.
Concern for the kids is always a parent's first thought, and rightfully so. But, as parents, can't imagine a scenario where any child would love their parents any less because of some rumor around town. It's sad, but once they get old enough, kids deal with stuff like that every day - wrong clothes, wrong neighborhood, wrong friends, etc, etc. For those who know they are loved by those who really count to them, it hurts but just another day in the jungle. Tomorrow, it will be someone else.
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Originally Posted by TNT Yeah, unfortunately I know small towns. Today's hot topic is tomorrow's old news. Small towns are wonderful and they also suck. |
So true. We grew up in one, live in one, and have never known anything else. Some other shocker will come up in short order and knock you right off the top of the list.
We can relate to the position you find yourself in, we truly can, and would have exactly the same fears. It's scary. All you can do is keep your head up and keep marching along until it all blows over.