We've been together over 25 years. To us, love and lust are two different things. Granted, one can enhance the other, but they are separate and distinct. We view our extra-marital sex as "sharing pleasures" (yeah, like in the Auel books
). We tend to do threesomes, MFM or FMF more than MFMF. I'm not sure if that is intentional or not on some level. It probably is because even when with couples we tend to go for a group thing rather than pairing off, so we are never disconnected, if you follow. We are both voyeurs and exhibitionists too. What might help is for you to set some time with your hubby to pick one of the posts on this list, and answer it together. That way you can both have the chance to give your point of view and see what you would like to try and what you want to avoid.
J