Susan here--The problem is not you, it's them. You can do everything right and things don't work out. She still has issues from a cheating husband from a first marriage ? Then she integrates that anger and fear into a swing situation ? Or worse, she's using an event from her past as the excuse for inappropriate sexual control of the present. Folks, never expect rational behavior from an irrational individual.
Move on to more fun people.
They're out there !