[cubnamy1995]

This is the wife. First let me start by saying I admire the fact that you are asking before doing. Hubby and I aren't the most experienced people on the boards, but we have had our share of different combinations. Personally, I tend to go to the group thing a whole lot more where there are arms, legs, and asses everywhere. But in a more intimate setting with just 3, I tend to like the fmf. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy mfm, but lets face it, as a bi-woman, an fmf is just more fun for me.
It sounds like you are trying to figure out how to get you wife to get over her nerves more than anything else. Rule #1, DON"T PUSH IT! Talking is cool, but if the only thing you ever talk about is seeing your wife with another man, the more uncomfortable she will be. I'm sure in your mind, you are trying to let her know just how comfortable you are and in your own way trying to reassure her of your feelings. As a woman, what we hear is "I really really really want this, so please just do it already." If the idea does get her hot, then it will happen. My first time with an mfm with hubby was good, but not great because I felt like I was on display and had to almost "perform" to his expectations. That took alot of the excitement I wanted out of the experience away from me because it then wasn't about us, it was about him.
Now, after the experience, I had the chance to really talk to hubby and express my feelings. Since then, he still loves to watch, but not in that creepy way. He still gets to see me with another man, but I can actually enjoy myself, which in turn makes him even hotter.
Talk to your wife. Ask her how she would actually feel, (not just does the sex feel good). Actually being watched for the first time by your lover can be quite overwhelming and that may be a large part of her reservations. I'm sure the two of you can come up with the perfect scenario so that each of you is satisfied with the experience, and not just one or the other.