My heads spinning after reading all this.
Is the "problem" (and I don't know that you have one) here that the blonde isn't interested in playing with men?
If she's interested in women
and men, then what does it matter where you put the "Fs" or the "M" because you'll probably mix it all up anyway when you three play.
You only need to know what all three of you are open to before you begin. Then go with the flow when you're playing.
Good luck finding blondie!
LM