The hanging out part is nice and it helps you make friends. However, even the first time we went to the club we went to play...with each other.
It was kind of a slow night, we didn't know what to expect. Was it going to be like a feeding frenzy b/c there's meat in the water? Would we sit by ourselves all night b/c everyone knew we were new and didn't want to deal with that? Well, we did get to know a few people...and we tried out the playrooms. Oh yes. We had a good time, even if we didn't swap with anyone that first time.
Have you considered just doing same room sex. (For me, and most others, soft swap is allowing others to touch and get oral, but penetration just from your SO.) Just go to the play room and have a good time with each other. No one else touching you or anything, just enjoying your hubby or boyfriend. That way you get a little comfortable with being naked/having sex with others around...but you aren't specifically feeling pressure to play with others per se.
Or maybe you could try a nudist beach to get comfortable being naked in a more public setting? For most nudists, being naked isn't necessarily a sexual thing it's just natural. So maybe trying the naked in public in a non-sexually charged context would work better?
We haven't been doing this long enough, but apparently there used to be a few known 'swinger' hangouts...but too many vultures (usually single men) would come on the nights the groups were there for meet n greets and eventually the groups moved else where. I think that's sort of the thing that GT is hitting on above. The club is full of couples, but if there is an over abundance of people there that are just there for the 'open' atmosphere or looking to get a peep show, without the intent of ever playing...some of those couples may be better suited to getting their peep show at a strip club and going home to work off the built up sexual tension anyway.
Just some ideas.
Good luck,
Maria
