The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Light-Polyfidelity-Swinging???

sereneiders · 10-01-2007, 04:19 AM

We've known a couple of groupls like the one you pursue. One of them even goes to the Club, socialize with everyone but plays mostly with other group members.

However, I cannot claim those groups were planned, on purpose, setting the goals you mention.

We're poly-friendly and we had poly relationships. Both of them started as "friendships" where all the incolver people knew there was a chance for the sexual stuff, but we didn't pursue to have sex at first. Much like "if we were about to have sex, then we won't be able to get laid", so the anxiety for the sex stuff wasn't there, or at least it was somehow... controlled.

But as we got confortable with the whole swinging scenario at the Clubs, we stop prettending to be firends first... and anyway we developed several good friendships and we have playmates we have sex with often, much like a preference, where the confort level and the developed confidence has a lot to do.

The question is, wheter you can develop a friendship with the swinging goal in sight, and I believe this is really hard. Not impossible, but it requires a lot of energy and patience, and now, when I look back to those times, I believe it would have been easiest to apply just a fraction of that energy and patience on get confortable enough as to have sex with not so known people.

So, if you have other concerns like safety or privacy issues, the idea seems fine enough, but as a tool to be able to get confortable, it doesn't.

10-01-2007, 04:19 AM	#36 (permalink)
sereneiders Some sort of user Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1,121 Location: Argentina Status: Couple	Re: Light-Polyfidelity-Swinging??? We've known a couple of groupls like the one you pursue. One of them even goes to the Club, socialize with everyone but plays mostly with other group members. However, I cannot claim those groups were planned, on purpose, setting the goals you mention. We're poly-friendly and we had poly relationships. Both of them started as "friendships" where all the incolver people knew there was a chance for the sexual stuff, but we didn't pursue to have sex at first. Much like "if we were about to have sex, then we won't be able to get laid", so the anxiety for the sex stuff wasn't there, or at least it was somehow... controlled. But as we got confortable with the whole swinging scenario at the Clubs, we stop prettending to be firends first... and anyway we developed several good friendships and we have playmates we have sex with often, much like a preference, where the confort level and the developed confidence has a lot to do. The question is, wheter you can develop a friendship with the swinging goal in sight, and I believe this is really hard. Not impossible, but it requires a lot of energy and patience, and now, when I look back to those times, I believe it would have been easiest to apply just a fraction of that energy and patience on get confortable enough as to have sex with not so known people. So, if you have other concerns like safety or privacy issues, the idea seems fine enough, but as a tool to be able to get confortable, it doesn't.