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Originally Posted by TheDeal He-he! Are you guys on CT? There are many reasons I see this is a great way to swing. I must admit though, the biggest reason for me (yes, just me) is that I was never with many women prior to being married. I was the nice guy, best friend, geeky Band Freak! back in HS. By the time I was an adult; the influence of my women friends made it difficult to engage in casual sex. Yes, that sucked! I had this anti-macho-guy syndrome that made me become friends with women before I would even date them!
Now, I find myself in the Lifestyle where casual sex is the goal?!? WTF? I used to joke to my friends (about not trying to pickup every chick I met) that I really wanted to keep the amount of girls that saw me naked down to a minimum. Ya know, just incase all of them and myself were ever in the same room together. Funny, cause that actually happened right after I met my wife. That would be the problem with being friends before and after you date someone. At some point all of your friends (X-girlfriends) might actually meet you out, at the same place. Now, in the LS this would be a very good thing, but in the vanilla world...
So, bottom line; I still have not been with a large number of girls and I still don't like the idea of meeting someone, bedding them and moving on.
To us, it's more about the fantasy and less about the variety. |
We're in CT LOL! You sound exactly like my husband- personality, attitude, everything. We're softswap, I'm bi and have found parties just haven't been our thing. No one has hit us in a more cerebral way and I seem to get hit on by lots of men (which is fine, but obviously a fullswap couple where the woman is strait isn't our best match), but we're looking for a more female-focused experience. My husband says it's difficult for him to feel good about himself if our experience isn't with people we can connect with on another level. In other words, if they wouldn't be the kind of people we'd consider dating if single, it feels like we're just using them and that's just not us. Maybe that's "amateurish" of us, but it's a comfort level we seem to need. Him even more so than me.
I've had a lot more luck on sites just emailing then talking to other married women in the same boat as me and making the arrangements.