I read back through the thread and wanted to ask a question about Chicup's post on friendship. The couple we are playing with now have become very dear friends of ours. I know that it is a very rare thing to find that set of very close friends in the lifestyle, but it seems we've found that in a very short amount of time.
I can understand and agree with what you said that it is unrealistic that you will make lots of real friends in the lifestyle. I have only a few close friends in the vanilla world too. That is part of the reality of the human experience. But we've never had a problem making "let's go out and drink on the weekends now and then" kind of friends.
My question would be, is it really unrealistic to want to explore that dynamic during the getting to know you phase? I'm not saying we are that way every time. If we are at a club, we won't need to even know your name. But outside of a club setting, we look for that. Is that what you meant, or were you saying that its unrealistic to make close friendships before swinging? I mean no sarcasm whatsoever. I am genuinely interested in your point.