My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for a while now. We got into this with the idea that we would be emotionally detached from who we slept with. A while back, we met a couple that made us rethink this stance because they were so interesting. I would go so far as to say that everyone involved has grown very attached to each other to the point that we can say we love them and vice versa. We built a great friendship with them that we see lasting forever. So where is the problem you ask? Well...
Until recently, our play with them has only including me and the other wife with the men watching (which both of the men *loved*). Our last experience we did the full swap thing. Everything was going great until I got an image stuck in my head that would not go away. When I went to go down on the other husband, I immediately thought "Oh no.... He looks like my dad...". In my family, we were nudists minus actually going in public naked (if you get what I mean), so I should meantion that before everyone screams child abuse because that thought popped into my head. That thought was, understandably, *very* disturbing to me. That caused the rest of the night to go downhill for me. While everything before that was HOT HOT HOT, and everything involving my husband and the other wife after that was even more hot, I couldn't enjoy myself. I was a trooper though because I wanted to enjoy myself and I especially didn't want the other husband to know my thoughts and reactions.
After they left, I ended up crying to my husband because I was so guilty about not being able to enjoy it after that thought. His response was that we shouldn't go there with them anymore. If it was any other couple, I would quickly agree. My problem is that I know how much my husband enjoyed his experience (well, until he heard about mine), I know how much the other couple enjoyed it, and I know that I really wanted to enjoy it. I told my husband that I want to try it atleast once or twice more to see if it goes away, but he thinks that will be too traumatic for me. He may be right, but I would feel really bad cutting off future swapping with them because of a silly thought. They did nothing wrong (actually, they did everything oh so right), so I don't think that is fair to them.
What say you?
