The Swingers Board - View Single Post - She is in a shell and will not come out without a couple of drinks...

2inthemood · 07-29-2007, 10:08 AM

just as experiment: ever tried to start same settings of your "drinking nights" same attitude and intentions and get her "drunk" with supposed to be alcoholic beverages but that in reality have no alcohool in it (and she doesnt know)? A sort of placebo thing to see if its something that clicks or not. AND NO ITS NOT FOR YOU TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT IF IT HAPPENS, just tell her that there was no alcohol, and go on with a romantic night: massages etc, dont think about sex. Sometimes its the idea of being drunk whats needed rather than being actually drunk.

Experiments aside, talk talk talk, for sure she knows, or she can find in herself, the deep reasons for that. Try to ease her into things, get books about sex (joy of sex is old but still good, books about fantasies like the ones written by Nancy Friday: my secret garden and the others that followed). In short get her interested and get her to talk.
Suggestion 2: get a diary, it goes on her bedtable when you write something in it and on your bedtable when she writes something on it (or find your own system but not one that will send the diary in a corner and be forgotten) in there you write the feelings, sensations, questions, fantasies etc, dont push it or go overboard let her keep her pace, maybe it could be easier for her to get used to her "other side" and a way to tell you things.
BTW its a fun game to play too.

The 3rd would be taping what happens when she is drunk and then see that with her when sober, but that could go ok or really bad so i wouldnt say its a really safe solution, up to you on that.

07-29-2007, 10:08 AM	#12 (permalink)
2inthemood Active Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 13 Location: Italy/Canada Status: couple	Re: need advice just as experiment: ever tried to start same settings of your "drinking nights" same attitude and intentions and get her "drunk" with supposed to be alcoholic beverages but that in reality have no alcohool in it (and she doesnt know)? A sort of placebo thing to see if its something that clicks or not. AND NO ITS NOT FOR YOU TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT IF IT HAPPENS, just tell her that there was no alcohol, and go on with a romantic night: massages etc, dont think about sex. Sometimes its the idea of being drunk whats needed rather than being actually drunk. Experiments aside, talk talk talk, for sure she knows, or she can find in herself, the deep reasons for that. Try to ease her into things, get books about sex (joy of sex is old but still good, books about fantasies like the ones written by Nancy Friday: my secret garden and the others that followed). In short get her interested and get her to talk. Suggestion 2: get a diary, it goes on her bedtable when you write something in it and on your bedtable when she writes something on it (or find your own system but not one that will send the diary in a corner and be forgotten) in there you write the feelings, sensations, questions, fantasies etc, dont push it or go overboard let her keep her pace, maybe it could be easier for her to get used to her "other side" and a way to tell you things. BTW its a fun game to play too. The 3rd would be taping what happens when she is drunk and then see that with her when sober, but that could go ok or really bad so i wouldnt say its a really safe solution, up to you on that.