[EternallySingle]

I, as a single male, see this from a different perspective. Discounting health problems, how you approach the threesome is the reason he couldn't keep it up. Mainly, he wanted/expected something other than what you offered/practice and he couldn't keep his mind in the game. Unlike women (and I've said this before) men HAVE to be turned on mentally and emotionally to perform AT ALL.

In almost every situation, the guy in the MFM is an outsider to the relationship. I don't care what you think or what other single men say, a man and his woman is a little intimidating sexually to single men. Unless he has totally put a wall between his emotions and his sex drive, he is going to be ALWAYS looking to the woman's husband for a clue as to what he should do next.

You have to get into the single man's head to some extent to see what he is comfortable with and if what turns him on turns you on. Just because all three of you like 3somes doesn't mean you are in it for the same reason. Maybe you, as the husband, likes to watch your wife and you, as the wife, likes to put on a show for your husband. But he, as the single man, has a fantasy of being one of many lovers she has and the husband is (FOR THE FANTASY) just another one of the woman's lovers, and on an equal footing with him (FOR THE FANTASY). In that situation, the husband joining in will be a turn on for the single man, but the husband sitting back and giving suggestions is a lot of pressure.

What if the single man enjoys the fantasy of being the 'other man' that got caught by the husband with his wife? Having a couple that has the fantasy of the woman being told she can have sex with the single man while he watches isn't going to do it for him.

I could go on about the many scenarios that I have seen and been involved in, but the bottom line is that unless you first know what the single man is getting out of the threesome, none of you are going to enjoy it because he won't enjoy it. Its not just about finding a guy you like. Its about finding a guy that can get out of the threesome what you have to offer...and that is not JUST sex. For all the effort the single man has to make to get noticed and taken seriously in the swinger's world by just one couple, he could have had sex with a dozen single women, and probably one or two bisexual female-female couples a year. If you are not comfortable asking him what he thinks is a turn-on fantasy, you are probably not ready. If he is not comfortable telling you BOTH, he definitely is not ready.

Oh, and to the couple that suggested the Viagra, most single men would find that an insult. The ones that wouldn't usually have their own.