[ShellyM]

Well, lets not jump the gun and change locks. OP, this is YOUR marriage. We do not know you nor your wife. From what you have said yes. She was absolutely in the wrong here, and I do consider what she did to be cheating. I don't understand WHY for the life of me.....all she had to do was say yes, she was interested and you would have done an MFM! Wow, all of this could have been avoided. If you are now thinking that she had a relationship with this man then you are talking a whole new can of issues. I honestly don't know what to tell you other than what I would do in the same situation possibly: Number one, seek a counselor. If you think your marriage is salvageable (13 years is a long time to throw away, so be sure you have really pondered before you consider the D word) seek marriage counseling immediately. I would probably stop sex with her at this point. I would not be able to make love to a woman that I don't trust, but thats my opinion only. You may want to seek your own private counselor even if you are also in marital counseling. I think that even if your marriage were to end you need help in dealing with all of the emotions you are feeling. I have never experieneced them, but I know you are hurting. Married or divorced you have got to deal with these emotions and anger so that you can move forward and have a happy life. But the "it was just sex" bit? I don't buy it for a second. Best of luck to you.
Shelly