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Old 07-17-2007, 08:43 PM   #19 (permalink)
rpu3
Doing it our way...
 
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Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 3,273
Location: Ohio
Status: Married Female
Swing Lifestyle Name:rpu3

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Default Re: Cheated then lied. sorry so long

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthBond
We think that you need to forgive her and continue to think about swinging.
Wow, that's two posts from you in one day that leaving me wondering if we are even reading the same board!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthBond
You have been building up an anticipation of having sex with another person. She was ready for action. She was hot to trot. Give her the benefit of doubt and give her another chance. You have been talking about her having sex with other people. She just got a little ahead you. If she continues to play games, dump her.
I think it's safe to say that he anticipated that he and his wife were going to be swinging together. This isn't jumping the gun - she went well beyond that point.

If I pulled that stunt on my spouse (the cheating/behind his back stunts), our "swinging" would be over. I'd be lucky if he were willing to consider counseling with me, and I'm sure it would be long time before he had any trust in me, if ever. The best thing out of swinging is that we are completely honest with each other, no matter what form our activities take. There are no games, no deceit, no going ahead of the other. I thought that was the point of swinging - we didn't need to lie to do something different.

As to the OP - I am so sorry that you are in this situation. I can only imagine what you might be thinking and feeling at this point. I don't even know how you are working and functioning at this point. I hope you do consider seeing a counselor, even if it is by yourself, as another support system.
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