[ShellyM]

Perhaps you are right. You probably are right, this is why I said for them to seek counseling. I think that all thoughts of swinging should be halted completely, but he said that this was done already. I think marital counseling is in order. You know, I just can't buy the entire mis-communication thing though. If this was a mis-understanding than it was HUGE. I don't know, and I do not pretend to be a licensed counselor. But I think that she needs to be aware that when you have sex with another person without your spouse knowing about it you are opening up all kinds of issues. I'm not saying to leave her OP, I don't think I relayed anything like that. I'm saying seek counseling with a trained professional and begin to rebuild your trust. BUT. She needs to understand that having sex with people when your spouse is unaware is just not okay behavior as well. This is why so many couples are we both play or we don't play, just so misunderstandings such as this do not happen.
Shelly