I've tried, but it's like I've got Tourette's when it comes to this topic.
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Originally Posted by DKent Shelly: You've been right about much here but not that she knows about my past cheating. She knows nothing. Zip. Yes, I've been THAT careful. |
She may not have any evidence, but the fact that you are able to do it in the first place means that you are okay with being dishonest with her. No matter how you might cover your tracks, you can't hide the quirk in your eyes when you tell her that there is no one else. And if you are able to convince her, then I am very sorry for you. I don't know how you could sleep at night.
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Originally Posted by DKent To be 100% accurate, it's not just "the hassle" of setting up secret trysts as Spoomonkey asserts - it's actually that I WANT to be exclusive to my wife, and seeing her finally beginning to open up into a person who can give more intimacy gives me hope that my needs can and will again be fulfilled by her. |
So, uh...why the hell don't you just
tell the woman that she's not doing it for you? Why all the coy head games? It's no wonder she didn't go for the idea of swinging, knowing that she wasn't enough for you. Most women going into it are
afraid of just that, but the thing is, for her, it's actually
true. Isn't it?
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Originally Posted by DKent For the record, you're all entirely wrong in saying I ever denied my family one moment of the time they deserved, spending it with another woman. You have no clue, so don't even go there. I've doted on my family (wife and kids) more than anyone I know, even to the detriment of my own business through the years - taking days off for ballgames or dance recitals. |
Commendable.
Yet, apparently, you still don't value honesty.
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Originally Posted by DKent In all your vehement efforts to condemn me and throw rocks, only a few of you actually are hearing me. |
Again, you haven't said anything we haven't heard before. So maybe you're tired of cheating and being dishonest, and that's great. But the fact that you dislike that un-warm-&-fuzzy feeling that it gives you to lie to your wife
doesn't change the fact that you are still okay with it! You said it yourself. You don't feel any guilt over your past affairs. You don't regret them.
You scoffed at the idea of coming clean, but I tell you this: until you do, it'll be like a rotting corpse under the floorboards. I'm sorry man, but most of us here practice honesty religiously. Don't assume that we haven't had to own up to some pretty big mistakes. It's not impossible; it's just very painful and very difficult. But we'd rather give our spouses the dignity of an informed choice. Or is it that you're certain she would dump your ass on the curb? In that case, it's just your own ass you're protecting...not hers. You are who you are. If you're such a great guy, such a great husband and family man as you've argued here, then surely your wife will see that and overlook your dishonesty with her. Do you not trust your wife to know what's in her own best interest? Like you said, you're a great guy! Surely she'll want to keep you. So what are you afraid of. If it were me, I'd rather know the real man I married, not just the mask he shows me. Then again, that's just me.