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So - how this arrangement would work is that he and your wife get to act like sweethearts while you and his wife are simply tag-a-longs?
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I'm betting yes on this, and to the OP: don't allow yourself to get the short end of the stick. EVER. Bad news, and that's that.
But even that's beside the point. Actually sleeping together, cuddling...these are the sort of things
couples do. Does your wife
want to do these things with the other husband, or is it just him wanting it? If I were you, and it were the latter, I'd find a new couple (especially since this one seems possessive and dishonest). If the former, I'd get a new wife.