HI, this is my first post but I've been reading for days trying to decide what to do. Maybe the answer will be easier to find if I just ask ya'll? lol
I'll apologize in advance, this could be a bit long...
<a bit of background...skip down if you want me to just get to the point>
Hubby and I have always been open sexually but just with each other. If you ever saw the episode on "Yes Dear" where Jimmy is on the computer. His wife comes in and when he hides the screen she says, "you know I don't mind if you look at porn, just let me know if you find something good!". That's us..
My husband's best guy friend (best man at our wedding even) and I have flirted with each since college...some time ago...
. I always felt it was innocent, despite the fact that I've always found him attractive, and thought he thought the same. The last couple of years, though, the vibe has changed. He has gotten more and more persistent...huggy, VERY nice to me when we've been drinking and so on. It doesn't bother me a bit and doesn't seem to bother hubby either. Honestly, I really, really, REALLY like it.
This guy friend is married too and his wife doesn't seem to mind our flirting either. At times that he's gotten a bit more than flirty, I've looked at her and she just smiles at me. Okay...I know...that was maybe a hint, huh?
<the point...>
A new strip club has recently opened on our end of town. I've never actually been to a real strip club and have repeatedly told hubby I wanted to go to this new club sometime. Last weekend, the friend called and told me that they were going to the new club and asked me to go with them. Hubby was with them and quite aware that friend was calling to ask me. Of course, jumped at the chance!.
There was another couple with us too. Another friend from college who I know very well and his girlfriend (might as well be wife).
We all went and I loved it. We all had a great time! While we were at the club, though, our friend came and sat between me and the other friends gf. He was rather touchy fealy, with his hands on both our legs, thighs, etc. I didn't mind, she didn't mind, my DH was next to me and didn't mind...all is good. Then out of the blue, our friend tapped me on the shoulder and told me to watch. He then kissed our other friends gf. Seriously, I thought they were joking and made a smart comment. He quite seriously said, "okay, not quite the reaction I was after"....oops!!!
After we watched the rotation of girls a few times....only 3...we decided to go back to our friend's house to "hang out". We were listening to music, drinking, usual stuff. Except our friend kept trying to get his hand down my shirt. Hmmm? Light bulb finally went off when I realized he was serious. It was still very playful and light though. It was absolutely not a force type thing....more like he was persueing...seducing....that feeling.
I pulled away from him most of the night until I realized what was going on. I let him...ummm....get a feel the next time he tried. OMG...zing! Everything sparked!
A few minutes later both guys and I were standing off to the side and the best friend put his arm around me and started talking real soft. Like he was trying not to scare me off. Probably a good move on his part because it totally turned me on.
He started telling me that they had a some sort of a "credit" system with the wives. He didn't get much past that because we were interrupted and I took the opportunity to get away to think about it.
By the end of the night, everyone except me was in the hot tub naked. Each wife/gf was cuddling on the lap of the guy that they weren't attached too. My poor hubby was alone except I stood next to him outside. I just didn't want to get totally naked in front of everyone. It has nothing to do with being afraid to be naked but more body issues/insecurity. I would have been fine if I'd had a t-shirt or something and would have been more than happy to take it off once I got in there.
I'm not sure how it happened but I ended up getting kissed by the one friends girlfriend. VERY HOT gf, btw. I'm 100% straight...or so I thought. But will admit to admiring beautiful women and have always thought this girl was hot. Obviously, it was my first kiss with a woman....my first anything with a woman. And I really really liked it. That girl can kiss...okay, getting distracted.
Lots of other things happened along the same lines without them actually engaging in anything in front of us. When we left, though, I do know they had all retired to the very dark living room and were still naked. We had to leave early because of our son but I'm SO wondering what went on in that living room and SO bummed to have missed it.
I know that hubby was aware that his friend was being very friendly to me. He knows both guys got repeated looks down my top (since I repeatedly showed them...I had a sparkly bra that needed showing off...lol) and our friend told me that he told my hubby that he felt my breast. Hubby also saw what happened during the hot tub time. I don't think hubby is aware that they are at the very least soft swapping. Earlier in the night, I asked hubby if he thought they swapped and he said definitely not. So, I don't think he knows the extent of it.
Now, I am VERY intrigued and interested in playing with these two couples. And don't feel any misgivings about hubby playing with the other girls. Actually, hubby told me that he felt the gf's breast while me and her were kissing. I thought I would be jealous but I'm really not. Not that I don't care, more that I totally trust that I'm the one my DH loves and we're in it for the long haul.
We will be having opportunities to be with these other couples soon...in fact we are having lunch tomorrow with the best friend. Should I tell my DH the whole story because I know he missed quite a bit of it and tell him I'm interested in playing too? Or do I just not say anything and see what happens at the next get together?
DH is the type that he gets uncomfortable talking about things but will usually go with the flow when things happen. He said he had no problem with the things he was aware of about the other night. I even asked him if he'd have a problem with me kissing the friend and he said no...like he meant it. Unfortunately, we left before it happened, dang it. But we were all drinking (except DH was sober) and things were happening and it was the environment. I don't know if he'd have a problem with it in the future.
I haven't been able to sleep since this happened because I can't stop thinking
about the other guys (and the girls to a lesser extent) and how to deal with DH. DH knows that my #1 fantasy is 2 or more guys and me. 3 would be perfect! lol He also knows I am very turned on by group sex. He seeks out porn for me to watch that fits the description. But....
If you've read all this...omg, thank you!! I know it's long and confusing. I'm more than happy to clarify anything.
What do I do? Talk to him before or just see what happens? I wouldn't engage in anything past kissing the friend without talking to DH before. I kind of think that he will be more open to it if we are actually there and things are about to happen... These friends wouldn't push anything and would definitely be okay with me stopping to talk to dh. I was also thinking about asking the friend to tell DH what he told me and see what happens.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm so confused but soooooo into the idea of playing. Oh....the friend made of a point of telling me that they didn't actually have intercourse with the other's mates. They just "played". I do think they complete things in the room with the other's though.