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Originally Posted by ShellyM But, does one spouse have the right to deny sexual intimacy to the other KNOWING that they need more? |
Absolutely not.
And it is not right-minded thinking for a spouse to simply "take it" when a spouse refuses intimacy. Making sure our spouse is taken care of is the responsibility of the spouse, IMHO. And, as I was joking with some women at work this week, men are pretty simple - feed us and fuck us and you have us figured out (again, I was joking, but it is not that far from true... In my case at least).
Women take a bit more work - like Mrs. DKent for example.
I do not think that a rational response for a husband (or wife) is to simply shrug their shoulders, claim to be a victim and start sleeping around. It happens - and it is not the "sin to end all sins". It
IS distasteful to many swingers - for good reason - because we
HAVE put in the work necessary to make our marriages open, honest and whole (for the most part - I am not claiming perfection
)
I sincerely wish that couples, early in their relationships would hash out these types of issues - allowing for the changes that are bound to come when children enter the scene. I wish that more women understood that their relationship is just as much a part of their responsibility as their kids... Of course, I wish more husbands understood that their relationship was just as important as their need for sex :rollseyes
I have two women at work that I am close to. In that, I mean we talk about sex comfortably and without detail (Okay, there is the occasional detail). One has a three year old and uses him as her excuse for not having time for sex with her husband. One has a six month old and - in response to hearing the other woman's excuse - said, "we don't have that problem."
You can imagine which relationship is on the rocks...
But - that doesn't excuse cheating. Cheating is simply avoiding dealing with the issue. As I have told Mrs Spoomonkey (and she has told me) while I believe we are soul mates, while I believe we were made for each other, and while we have never had an issue with our sex lives (heck, we have only had one fight ever) - if she were to lose interest in having sex with me, and was not willing to work on the problem constructively, our fairy tale would be over.
Because dishonest is just not something I'm good at.
Spoomonkey