The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Any Men Whose Wives Refuse to Even Consider Swinging?

havefuninsun · 06-29-2007, 03:34 PM

To the OP:

Why did you think it was OK to cheat?

It sounds like you felt an entitlement to variety, although when that point was brought up you said no, that's not how you felt.

People cheat on their spouses for a LOT of reasons. But I have never heard a person who has chosen to cheat then say that their wives (or husbands) are the loves of their lives and give them the kudos you give your wife. That is very perplexing to me.

I have known a lot of cheaters. And they all were missing something in their relationship with their spouse ... and SEX wasn't one of them. I don't know anyone who cheated solely to get some strange. They usually had more of an emotional affair going on with someone else before anything physical happened.

I'm not trying to be a smart ass here, but do you think you have an addiction to sex?

And ... you may not know it, you may not believe it, or you just might not want to, but believe me, you have hurt your wife. SOMETHING made you seek outside relationships. I really hope she never finds out.

(And before you start in with me ... I was a cheater. I cheated on my ex-husband. He did eventually find out, and not because I came clean. I would have gone to my grave with that secret. Like you, I didn't ever want him to know because I didn't ever want him to feel that pain. Hind-sight is 20/20; I should have just gotten out of the marriage when I realized it was done and not played in someone else's ball field. I can never forgive myself for my poor judgment).

So ... again ... why did you cheat?

06-29-2007, 03:34 PM	#34 (permalink)
havefuninsun insert witty banter here Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,190 Location: Virginia Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:havefuninsun	Re: Any Men Whose Wives Refuse to Even Consider Swinging? To the OP: Why did you think it was OK to cheat? It sounds like you felt an entitlement to variety, although when that point was brought up you said no, that's not how you felt. People cheat on their spouses for a LOT of reasons. But I have never heard a person who has chosen to cheat then say that their wives (or husbands) are the loves of their lives and give them the kudos you give your wife. That is very perplexing to me. I have known a lot of cheaters. And they all were missing something in their relationship with their spouse ... and SEX wasn't one of them. I don't know anyone who cheated solely to get some strange. They usually had more of an emotional affair going on with someone else before anything physical happened. I'm not trying to be a smart ass here, but do you think you have an addiction to sex? And ... you may not know it, you may not believe it, or you just might not want to, but believe me, you have hurt your wife. SOMETHING made you seek outside relationships. I really hope she never finds out. (And before you start in with me ... I was a cheater. I cheated on my ex-husband. He did eventually find out, and not because I came clean. I would have gone to my grave with that secret. Like you, I didn't ever want him to know because I didn't ever want him to feel that pain. Hind-sight is 20/20; I should have just gotten out of the marriage when I realized it was done and not played in someone else's ball field. I can never forgive myself for my poor judgment). So ... again ... why did you cheat?