I never said I was <b>entitled</b> to sexual variety - I just wished for it as much as most of you. But I've found my wife isn't like your wives. And telling me I'm bad because I cheated on her, gimme a break! I'm not saying it was ever a noble thing I was doing, or even right! But I did say I no longer wish to do so, and want to share every aspect of my sexual life with her, and have realized she isn't interested in going to those extremes. I guess that's a bit hard to comprehend when your wife says "yes" and all the rest of ours say "no". You truly do not understand until you walk in my shoes.
Spoomonkey states that "because my marriage is not based upon trust and communication" (which isn't so, but I won't start that thread), we'll never be swingers! So, in other words, every couple who are completely open, trusting, communicate perfectly, etc., CAN swing? Absolute malarkey! <p>
I've done a lot of research into the subject - not just on this forum, but talking to "real live" swingers as well - particularly the distaff half - to fully understand the lifestyle, its pros and cons, its benefits and risks, and how it is managed from within and without. I feel I know an awful lot about it now (except how it actually feels)....and I've come up with a hypothesis:<p>
It's true, it's absolutely true: Men ARE from Mars and Women ARE from Venus. They are different - VERY different! In outlook, needs, perceptions, flexibility, etc. However, in my comprehensive research recently, I've discovered that SOME women are from Mars too - and those are the ones who are able to swing!<p>
They have more the male POV than the typical female one - more open to
personal exposure, exhibitionism, mate-swapping, non-monogamous
(non-romantic) sex, etc. All those obstacles to swinging that most wives exhibit.<p>
And THAT might be it in a nutshell. The typical woman won't and cannot
swing - those who can are a rarity of the first order. My wife is typical
Venusian, I believe....<p>
And for any of you listening, I love her, appreciate her for who she is, and have explored her limits and now know that this is a place we're not going. It took this session of "communicating" with her for me to know this - otherwise, like too many other husbands - that question would go unasked all our lives and I'd never know: "will she or won't she?"