Great responses - thank you all, even those who bashed me for being a selfish pig, which I do not believe I am.<p>
First of all, Bill, your wife sounds even
more conservative than mine! Mine at least enjoys having oral performed on her, will do oral on me but not let me cum in her mouth, and she does anal, and we enjoy toys...so I guess whenever you think you've got it "bad", someone has it worse! Sorry, buddy.<p>
Celtic - My Mrs. doesn't know anything about my "indiscretions" and I have no intentions of telling her! It would do nothing positive or productive. I am looking forward to going to the clothing optional resort with her later this year....even if she chooses to wear a parka, ski cap, galoshes and mittens in the Palm Springs sunshine! I'll just be happy that she's even there with me, indulging her "perverted" hubby in his silly sexual follies.<p>
Socolais, so, what you're saying is that you actually, successfully convinced your wife to swing in the space of one year? Please elaborate! What did you do or say, how did you do it, what were her reactions, and what was the process like? Your first experience?<p>
Vegas Lee - thanks, I know what you mean, but I'd have to edit out the parts about cheating on her for 28 years, as that won't go over well, even if I said I didn't want to do it anymore! I do tell her all the time how much I love her and am still turned on by her....<p>
Maria - Yes, I know and agree and I've been careful - she doesn't suspect anything and I've never chosen to visit another woman instead of being with her for any reason. I only plan meetings when she is busy or away somewhere. I've never neglected my family or put my secret playtime above time with them. I've been a terrific husband and father. Maybe we men are just able to compartmentalize these things more than women...<p>
Chicup - I do not feel I've been selfish - I truly want to share the joys of swinging with my wife! But if she would get no joy from it, and only go through the motions, I'd not enjoy it myself. It needs to be mutual! But yes, I definitely blindsided her with a concept I had been rolling around in my head for months. I felt like an idiot, thinking her reaction might be any different than it was! I was obviously obsessed with the idea and my mind crazed with the drug of pent-up lust! Running that day over in my mind now, it was totally out of my character and apparently, totally ignoring the liklihood of it blowing up in my face. But you know the old saying, "break an egg...make an omelet"? Well, after all was said and done, she is dressing a bit more feminine and being more creative in bed and open to trying new things...like the CO resort. So in the end, this might have been the breakthrough we needed to pull our sex life out of the doldrums.<p>
TNT - Agreed, I tried to do too much, too fast. Like I said above to Chicup, I wasn't thinking rationally at all. I only thought I was! And yes, you are correct, as much as I want to think otherwise, swinging is not for everyone! The fact I'm reading all these forums and looking at pictures and immersing myself in this world from the outside, it distorts reality and makes guy like me begin to believe that swinging is "normal", "common", and far more widespread than the vanilla world would imagine. Truth is, it is a fairly exclusive and specialized community, and like a new religion, cult, or political party, it's nearly impossible to bring someone into it from the outside and have them embrace it with open arms. You either have the predisposition for the lifestyle and its requirements (a lack of modesty bordering on exhibitionism, a desire or willingness to have multiple sex partners, and a highly flexible mindset regarding long-held social mores and moral standards) or you do not.<p>
GR8DAD2 - Ok, so you started out on the road to long-term swinging...I can imagine what a dream cum true it was - and then something happened. How could you not recall or be cognizant of something so objectionable in one encounter that it totally turned off your already swinging and open-minded wife? It had to be some pretty awful....and you never knew what it was? This needs a bit of explaining....<p>
DKent