[TNT]

Originally Posted by DKent

I've always had a much greater sex drive than her and a need for more "out there" sex. I have indeed cheated on her our entire lives together, having many affairs, one-night stands, liaisons on business trips, even bisexual experiences. I've enjoyed it all, and have been immensely careful not to leave any clues or slip up, and she has no idea about my "other" life.

I truly love my wife dearly.

Really??? :rollseyes

She never suspected I was so...sexual..so kinky. This man she'd known almost all her life was different now in a way, and it still leaves her a bit muddled and confused.

Who's fault is that? People only know what a person is willing to reveal about themselves. For 28 years you kept things/parts of yourself from your wife. Now you're shocked she's scared, hurt and confused? I'd say you're pretty damn lucky she's taking it as well as she is. After all....

She tried to learn what the attraction is. She even looked online at various swinger's sites, the Freedom Acres site, etc. She wanted to know what her man was interested in doing.

She's trying to understand you....are you trying to understand her?

She did suggest she might go to a club just for me, to "get it out of my system" , but she'll sit in the bar and interact with no one...maybe go back to the car if it's too much. What fun.

Doesn't sound like you are to me.

Truth is, I do not have any guilt regarding my infidelity, but I'm tired of it. Too much effort and time wasted setting up secret rendezvous, etc.

Had you put the same time and effort (that you now say was wasted time) into your relationship from the beginning, you might not be in the situation you now find yourself in.

People and relationships do change over time but...you're asking your wife to change EVERYTHING she has believed for 28 years overnight and, from what you've posted it doesn't seem like you're being very patient about it either. You want what you want and you want it now....so not cool. Not to mention....you're still not being honest with your wife...have you disclosed your numerous affairs to her?

Anyway, I wonder if there are other men on here with equally hopeless situations. I've all but resigned myself to the fact that I'll never get to indulge in that forbidden pleasure of outside sex WITH my wife there, enjoying it with me. It is deeply disappointing, and I like to believe that somehow, someday, she might come around on her own. But not too likely.
Comments? How do you handle this? Do you keep pressing? Did you give up?
Why exactly are you here reading the forum like me?

Yes, there are numerous men who find themselves in the same situation as you...basically because they don't open their mouths and TALK to their wives...when the thought first comes to their mind. Instead, they wait years and indulge in their secret fantasies alone never trusting in the one person, that they should be able to trust above all others, to maybe understand. Sometimes it works out...sometimes a wife can't get over being lied to for years and sometimes even those who do talk to their wife from the first thought find that it's just not something that their wife wants to do.

Swinging is NOT for everyone.


Teresa