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crazykatie · 06-20-2007, 11:50 PM

tribbles: Don't get me wrong...I completely understand that there is a big difference between knowingly playing with fire and merely taking a chance at getting burned. So, I totally understand your view.

But, I have to admit that it has really bothered me over the last couple days that lifestyle couples would stigmatize a couple for being honest--particularly when honesty is supposed to be so highly prized. Also, I guess I expected that lifestyle couples would be better informed of the risks they are running. It has become clear to me that this simply isn't the case.

Certainly, you would be safer if you could know, with certainty, that every sexual partner is clean. However, the vast majority of those infected don't even know they are infected. So, statistically, every time you play with someone new, you have one chance in five of playing with someone who is infected and who doesn't even know it. And, play with the asymptomatically infected is far more likely to result in transmission than play with the knowingly infected. So, every lifestyle couple is far more likely to contract herpes from an asymptomatic carrier than from anyone who knows they have the disease. Statistically, it is not even close.

More telling to me, though, is the lack of response to my other posting. It is clear that hardly anyone has ever had a couple admit to having herpes either at a club or a meet & greet. Now, with one in five people suffering from the disease and between roughly one in fifteen to twenty-five people suffering from a symptomatic case of the disease, does it really make sense that no one on this board has ever had a couple disclose their condition (other than in an online ad)? The only possible explanation for no one having such experiences to share is that no one is being honest about their condition. I can't say that I blame infected couples for concealing their condition given the likely response that awaits their honesty within this community. Given what I have learned in the last 48 hours, I fully believe that most knowingly infected couples define themselves as "disease free" if they do not have an outbreak, are on suppressive therapy, and are using condoms.

That being said, if everyone does become infected, it will be the result of play with the asymptomatic many and not the honest and knowledgeable few.

06-20-2007, 11:50 PM	#9 (permalink)
crazykatie Here to Stay Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 32 Location: NE Ohio Status: Couple	Re: Checking Attitudes About Herpes tribbles: Don't get me wrong...I completely understand that there is a big difference between knowingly playing with fire and merely taking a chance at getting burned. So, I totally understand your view. But, I have to admit that it has really bothered me over the last couple days that lifestyle couples would stigmatize a couple for being honest--particularly when honesty is supposed to be so highly prized. Also, I guess I expected that lifestyle couples would be better informed of the risks they are running. It has become clear to me that this simply isn't the case. Certainly, you would be safer if you could know, with certainty, that every sexual partner is clean. However, the vast majority of those infected don't even know they are infected. So, statistically, every time you play with someone new, you have one chance in five of playing with someone who is infected and who doesn't even know it. And, play with the asymptomatically infected is far more likely to result in transmission than play with the knowingly infected. So, every lifestyle couple is far more likely to contract herpes from an asymptomatic carrier than from anyone who knows they have the disease. Statistically, it is not even close. More telling to me, though, is the lack of response to my other posting. It is clear that hardly anyone has ever had a couple admit to having herpes either at a club or a meet & greet. Now, with one in five people suffering from the disease and between roughly one in fifteen to twenty-five people suffering from a symptomatic case of the disease, does it really make sense that no one on this board has ever had a couple disclose their condition (other than in an online ad)? The only possible explanation for no one having such experiences to share is that no one is being honest about their condition. I can't say that I blame infected couples for concealing their condition given the likely response that awaits their honesty within this community. Given what I have learned in the last 48 hours, I fully believe that most knowingly infected couples define themselves as "disease free" if they do not have an outbreak, are on suppressive therapy, and are using condoms. That being said, if everyone does become infected, it will be the result of play with the asymptomatic many and not the honest and knowledgeable few. Last edited by crazykatie : 06-20-2007 at 11:53 PM.