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Originally Posted by knottyboi I had gone to a hotel party (my first one)...
...they quickly became EXTREMELY pushy. There was no friendly foreplay, or asking me what I like, or anything like that. It was like they had paid an entrance fee and, dammit, they were going to get some no matter what...
...I bent over and started going down on one man, when all of a sudden, I felt a dick trying to enter me. WHAT??
I whipped around to see the other single guy nonchalantly trying to fuck me, with NO condom on (despite my earlier stating that I don't fuck without them), and he acted like I was ridiculous when I became furious. I had very clearly told him I wasn't interested three times before that...
It's like I'm an object... |
Hi knottyboi,
My first huge hotel event had both good and bad elements to it. Among the bad elements, there were moments when I felt like an object. There were moments I was disrespected. I relate to the feelings.
At a certain house party on another occasion, I experienced an
extremely pushy man whom I'd already had to say "no" to several times and/or remove his hand from me, and he
still later came up behind me when I was bent over and tried to mess with me. I'm married and was with my husband; he was married and was with his wife. I had the same anger and feelings of being dissed and violated that you have. (Unfortunately, it's not always just the single guys, and the victims of this kind of treatment aren't always the single ladies.)
I sympathize and empathize. You have a right to feel this way.
I've learned that it wasn't my fault, but that I
do need to be much more forceful when necessary after the first polite "no" is being ignored. From now on, the second "no" is going to be loud and in his face, alerting others if necessary. Wish it didn't have to be this way, but sometimes it just is.
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Originally Posted by knottyboi For those that have had this sort of thing happen to them, how do you cope? |
I allow myself to feel what I'm feeling, including feeling scared after the fact, and angry. I process it and give it a little time. Then, I decide what I can and will do differently next time, so that I'm more in control. It may include considering that certain types of events or certain scenarios may not be for me. I also think about the good times that were had and the great people I met, so that I don't overly focus on the few creeps out there who ruined the evening. The good people outweigh the bad.
Hugs to you!!