For me to get past things, I have to understand what it is that bothers me.
Could it be that if you were more intoxicated, they might have gotten away with doing more? It is that you didn't assert yourself and tell the couples what was going on right away?
I don't see you as having been in danger of being raped...other than by you not stopping if you had been too drunk to catch them at the entry point. All you ever had to do was make enough of a scene to get help from others in the room. You made the choice to not get that help right away. You did learn that as soon as others knew there was a problem, they jumped in and helped you. Next time, speak up faster!
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All of us invited were invited because of the expectation that we were all a little freaky, we all liked each other, and there wouldn't be any problems mixin'n'matchin'.
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I gave this man no suggestion that I wanted to do it with him
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I've been in wild one room/one bed everyone ok with touching and licking. No one stops to ask "what do you like?" right away, and no one stops to even ask "may I touch you?"...we are all in one room, all in a go for it attitude and if someone does something I don't want, I say "stop, please don't". If someone didn't listen then, I'd get loud so others would get them away from me.
It's possible, that these men have been in that kinda situation before and therefore, thought they didn't need to do more than offer up a stiff penis. Then it's not that they are jerks but that they misread the way the party was going. I have a tendency to ask or at least look for permission when I go to touch someone but we have been in orgies where a female we don't know, jumps on my hubby's stiffy and starts riding it. We don't know her name, she didn't put a condom on him...he was hard and she wanted to ride. We were shocked at first but learned, if we let ourselves go to a group party like that, that's part of what we are accepting. Yes, there was a time he lifted a lady off. Now we know when we are with that kinda group. If we don't wanna play, we don't go in the room with them.
(Yeah, we have played with a wild crowd a few times
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The guys were wrong to push, but you were wrong not to speak up, loudly, faster. IMHO.