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Clearly, though the guy is self-defined as a swinger, he's really not.
He's a Player, with all the connotations implied with that.
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Exactly! I'm sure he will make somebody miserable someday.
Good for you for taking control of the situation and it's much better you found out now rather than later. I don't think you will have any problem continuing in the lifestyle if you choose. You sound like you have the right attitude and expectations.
Be true to yourself and everything falls into place eventually.