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Originally Posted by empowered What i want to know is: Is this common in the lifestyle? Is his behaviour considered cheating? Has anyone else experienced such a situation? How do you confront what may not be cheating but is still a breaking of trust/disrespect??
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What i want to know is: Is this common in the lifestyle? Who knows. I'd like to think it wasn't, and with my experience thus far it isn't. But I am sure it happens. Doesn't make it right.
Is his behaviour considered cheating? I consider it cheating. Yes.
Has anyone else experienced such a situation? Not myself, but I've seen it on the board a few times.
How do you confront what may not be cheating but is still a breaking of trust/disrespect?? Already, I stated that this is cheating. He told you he would inform you and he hasn't. And it's sexual in nature. This isn't a way you treat someone you are in a relationship with. That said, you simply confront him! Tell him how you feel that it was dishonest of him to keep this part of his life hidden with your relationship the way it stands.
At this point, I think swinging would be out of the question until a definite trust began to redevelop, however I feel that with what you had said so far this will likely push him into it more. And if it does, then so be it, you are better off without. If he thinks you are worth it for him to try to rebuild this trust and to put off swinging until you are comfortable in your relationship again, that would be a positive outcome.
This whole swinging while still dating seems absurd to me anyway. You two are still figuring out things about eachother! Why throw something as complex as swinging into the mix? Swinging to me is about us, as a couple, enjoying an aspect of our lives that we participate in together. No matter how you define swinging as together literally, or simply dabbling in the lifestyle together yet seperate, you should have a sound foundation to begin with.
Mr. Truelove