[empowered]

I am overwhelmed and am seeking advice. I live with my boyfriend. I'll try to keep this short.

Before we became involved sexually we discussed fidelity. He asked if i would be upset/jealous if he slept with someone else. I said my concern would only be re Health matters. He asked if it would be alright if it was safe and not emotional. I said yes, as long as I was informed. I explained that i needed to know in order to consider my choices. We agreed. Yippee! Ok, i moved in.

He then talked to me about swinging and would i consider it? Ok. We went to a club, so i could see the lifestyle. We havent gone back as he has been away (though i think he did go without me without saying so). I've become seriously interested in the lifestyle as i understand it, and am interested in exploring it as a couple.

He came back from a recent trip and announced things werent working, not me, etc. (right after i asked him if there was anything i needed to know about regarding his trip. i asked pointedly and directly). I prepared to leave. I dont want to stay where i am not wanted/desired. He did a turn around, please stay. I was reluctant but did. Now i'm sorry, as he is away again, and i have accidentally (really, it was quite accidental) discovered that he has been playing with a number of other couples while away, actively pursuing, and putting himself forth as single.

I'm upset about his playing without telling me. Not so much having sex outside of US, but of not being told about it. It seems to me the basic agreement of being informed has been broken.
I'm angry sad, hurt, and sick to my stomach. i feel very much betrayed. I feel i can't trust him and i feel manipulated and used. I also wonder if can really have sex again with him.

What i want to know is: Is this common in the lifestyle? Is his behaviour considered cheating? Has anyone else experienced such a situation? How do you confront what may not be cheating but is still a breaking of trust/disrespect??
Thank you.