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Originally Posted by incommunicado Can spouses who have cheated ever be trusted with Swinging again? |
Hi incommunicado, if you're still here.
I don't think it's possible to give an across-the-board answer to this question. There are so many variables. It depends entirely on whether or not the past was fully resolved and changes made. I mean
real changes, to the degree that if times were to get hard again and "life happens", the formerly cheating spouse could be trusted to stand by you, be mature and supportive, and not run off seeking self-gratification when hard times come. People generally react to situations based on deep-down personality characteristics and core values. Those things are mighty hard to change.
Personally, I doubt that I would be able to fully and completely trust this person after that degree of cheating had occurred, and in those circumstances.
If trust was to be rebuilt, I would have to witness proven, consistent demonstrations of changes and over a significant period of time. That is, if I was even able to stay with a person who had betrayed my trust in this manner. "Actions speak louder than words" - cheating (and the associated sneaking around, covering up, lying) are actions that really scream out loudly. I can only give you an answer from my personal perspective - and we are all different. I think you'll have to find the answer for yourself.
Turning the question back in a personal way, ask yourself this:
Do
you believe that you can trust your spouse with swinging? Has your spouse proven her love, loyalty and devotion to you? Do her actions now foster a closeness that surpasses what you had before? Can you say that she is your best friend?
These things would matter most to me. Best wishes to you.