The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Can spouses who have cheated ever be trusted with Swinging again?

incommunicado · 05-19-2007, 01:05 AM

I don't think thats a fair question, for you or your wife. There is not a "Black & White" answer to the question you asked.

--I DISAGREE, I THINK THERE IS. OR, AT LEAST A CONSERVATIVE ESTIMATE OF RISK.

I think the question should be "Can you trust your wife with swinging again after she cheated on you"...

--THIS IS A MUCH BETTER QUESTION, I AGREE!

Only you know that answer and your not here asking because you do trust her. Your asking because you don't trust her, right now anyways.

--I'M NOT ASKING BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST HER. I'M ASKING BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN KNOWING YOUR LIMITATIONS. THE MOST TRUSTWORTHY PERSON IN THE WORLD WILL UTTERLY FAIL IF THERE LIMITATIONS ARE TESTED TO A CERTAIN DEGREE. AS A FRIEND ONCE SAID TO ME, "DON'T THROW THE STEAK ON THE FLOOR AND EXPECT THE DOG NOT TO EAT IT."

I'd suggest you talk to her and tell her where you are at and see if you can come to some impass over it with some basic swinging rules at first until you feel comfortable with her swinging and then you can progress into swinging deeper over time.

Maybe she needs to channel her sexuality more independantly or whatever, you need to find this out and see where she stands with it, swinging and you.

WE TALKED ABOUT WHETHER THERE WAS A NEED FOR "INDEPENDENT STUDY" WAAAAAAYYY BACK WHEN I WAS FIRST DETERMINING WHETHER I COULD OR WANTED TO STAY. SHE FLAT OUT REFUSED AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP WHEN IT WAS LAID BEFORE HER, NO STRINGS ATTACHED NO TEST, JUST "DO YOU WANT THIS?".

Good Luck![/QUOTE]

THANKS!

05-19-2007, 01:05 AM	#17 (permalink)
incommunicado Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 198 Location: Baltimore, MD	Re: Can spouses who have cheated ever be trusted with Swinging again? I don't think thats a fair question, for you or your wife. There is not a "Black & White" answer to the question you asked. --I DISAGREE, I THINK THERE IS. OR, AT LEAST A CONSERVATIVE ESTIMATE OF RISK. I think the question should be "Can you trust your wife with swinging again after she cheated on you"... --THIS IS A MUCH BETTER QUESTION, I AGREE! Only you know that answer and your not here asking because you do trust her. Your asking because you don't trust her, right now anyways. --I'M NOT ASKING BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST HER. I'M ASKING BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN KNOWING YOUR LIMITATIONS. THE MOST TRUSTWORTHY PERSON IN THE WORLD WILL UTTERLY FAIL IF THERE LIMITATIONS ARE TESTED TO A CERTAIN DEGREE. AS A FRIEND ONCE SAID TO ME, "DON'T THROW THE STEAK ON THE FLOOR AND EXPECT THE DOG NOT TO EAT IT." I'd suggest you talk to her and tell her where you are at and see if you can come to some impass over it with some basic swinging rules at first until you feel comfortable with her swinging and then you can progress into swinging deeper over time. Maybe she needs to channel her sexuality more independantly or whatever, you need to find this out and see where she stands with it, swinging and you. WE TALKED ABOUT WHETHER THERE WAS A NEED FOR "INDEPENDENT STUDY" WAAAAAAYYY BACK WHEN I WAS FIRST DETERMINING WHETHER I COULD OR WANTED TO STAY. SHE FLAT OUT REFUSED AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP WHEN IT WAS LAID BEFORE HER, NO STRINGS ATTACHED NO TEST, JUST "DO YOU WANT THIS?". Good Luck![/QUOTE] THANKS!