That does explain quite a bit. Not sure that is going to be the direction we go, as swingers.
The thing is, even though I grew up with steady girlfriends and my wife grew up with open relationships and a lot of fun sex, neither of us has ever had sex with someone we weren't at least, close friends with. Even our swinging, thus far, has only been with a few of our closest friends. So, beyond the animal attraction, there has always been that emotional connection that you make with a close lover. Thought I don't really believe in polyamory, think of it as "hierarchical polyamory". We love (or at least really like and care about) all our lovers, but retain each other as the primary focus of our emotions.
For the time being, that's the only type of swinging sex we want to continue to have. When we exhaust our supply of friends (just kidding) we want to connect with swinging couples as friends, as well as lovers. We'd like nothing more than to be one of those couples 20 years down the road that is still friends with, and swinging with, people we meet now. So, in that respect, many of the afterplay and talking that comes from sex with a lover, is perfectly welcome in sex with our friends. |