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Originally Posted by swingcouple69 A friend of mine who is also a swinger told me that if I feel guilty at all and because I took it so bad, she doesn't think we should do it again. I DO NOT want to quit. I enjoyed the experience and want to do it again. I think it was because "HE" was the first man other than Hubby. Can you all please help? Is it normal to have some guilt? Should we quit?
Thanks for all your help! |
It doesn't make sense that you should quit because of a bump in the road. If a horse throws you, does it make sense to surmise that the horse hated you and that you should never ride again? Or should you figure out that he threw you because he got spooked, then work with the horse until he's not afraid anymore? It's better for you, better for the horse, better all around. Don't quit. Don't walk away from the problem. Solve it. It sounds like you two are well on your way to doing just that.
I wouldn't say that guilt is "normal". Health and good things are normal. Negative things like guilt are indicative of a problem. So while it's definitely common, I can't call it normal. This guilt is something that you'll need to resolve in your own mind. Now that you've found out that your husband is not hurt by it, you have found relief in that. Now it's just up to you to believe in your own heart that your actions are not offensive to him, to yourself, or (if you are feeling a spiritual conflict) to God. Until you feel you have found a peaceful resolution in this, I would advise not doing it again. However, count yourself lucky! This is a great opportunity to deepen your understanding of yourself, your husband, and what it means to be married.
It begs the question: "Does sex make or break our marriage? Or is it powerless to define it?" Which is it?
EDIT>> In my roundabout way, I've basically just dittoed what LikeMinds and iapr have just said!! It's time to rethink our definitions!