[iapr]

Quite frankly, I am really suprised by the amount of guilt that people are stating they are feeling. And contrary to the others that have posted, I do not feel it is a normal part of the lifestyle nor a healthy thing to be experiencing.

Mrs iapr and I used to be as conservative and traditional as anyone that ever walked the earth and we have never had any actual "guilt" feelings over any of our LS experiences. Now we have each had occasions where we were concerned if the other was ok with something but once it was discussed and assured that all was well there was no actual feelings of guilt. I have always held the impression that if you feel guilt about something that maybe you should evaluate if you should be doing that at all.

If Mrs iapr spent two days in tears and could not look me in the eye after an encounter we would not be swinging. The most important aspect of being in the lifestyle for us is to come home from a party or encounter and rattle the rafters at home. If one of us was in tears or couldn't look the other in the eye we would not be going there.

Now since you did state that you have talked this over thoroughly and that seemed to have helped greatly and since you state that you do want to continue in the lifestyle there is always hope. I would say to explore your feelings and try to determine what the reason was that you had so much guilt and what does it mean to you personally.

First off is the feeling truly guilt or is it really something else? Could it be more concern rather than guilt? Were you concerned that your partner is ok with it or concerned aobut what this may mean to your relationship? Could it be that since you have only been with your husband before this that what you are feeling is some sort of loss? Do you feel that you lost your ability to say that you have only been with one man and that you have some mourning over that evan though you did enjoy the swinging experience?

If you are sure that the feeling is guilt, did you feel guilt because you felt you actually did something wrong or did you feel guilt because you felt you SHOULD feel guilt? Hey, that happens to since everyone from the pope to your clergy to friends and family and parents have told us our whole lives that we should only experience sexual expression through monogamous marriage. The thing that suprised us the most when we first started having encounters was how natural it felt and how ok we felt about it afterwards. We each felt that we SHOULD feel guilty and were suprised at how good we felt afterwards since our whole lives everyone told us sex other than with your spouse was supposed to be so terrible.

The swinging experience can be very powerfull and you can experience a wide range of strong emotions. People often talk of it being "just sex" and that it should be without feelings and emotions but the truth is that it is often VERY emotional in many different ways.

If you are just experiencing a strong emotional reaction to your first experience embrace it and try to face and identify it. If you are finding that you truly do feel actual guilt over it I would be very leary about continuing untill you address why you feel guilt and I would not continue to swing unless you can identify away to mitigate the guilt.