Quote:
|
Originally Posted by wewannabebad2 Thank you to everyone who responded. This has just been so frustrating. Sometimes it just feels like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
We understand the whole concept that friendships fall apart. And we understand not having a lot of time believe me when I say we understand that. I guess we just have a lot to learn. We have however learned one thing, for us our true friends are vanilla friends. The people we have met who are swingers only seem to want our friendship if they're going to get something meaning sex. I guess we want something more than this I'm not talking polyamory but we want more than just one night fuck buddies.
I*the wife half*I'm the one that initiated all of this for us, I thought it would be fun for us. The further I go however I'm finding it not fun. Maybe we've met the wrong people I don't know. All I know is that all we have ran into in our area are people who seem to be shallow, self-centered, and closed minded. Like I was chatting with with a couple the other morning. They wanted to exchange pictures and I told them all I had are G rated and they said that was cool because that's all they had to. The minute I sent our picture they quit talking and never sent theirs.WTF?
So I don't know. I think we're going to take some time away from this. I think my husband has the right idea if we are meant to swing it will happen when we least expect it. Until then however we're going to enjoy the company of our true friends. |
So let me see...
*You won't go to the club where everyone meets.
*Your Swing Lifestyle profile has no public pictures and only one private picture.
*Your profile still indicates that you are more interested in single females (in high demand) than couples.
*Your profile still has a lot of negatives in it. "Don't contact us if you are into mind games" just sounds bitter to me. "She cannot stand xxx"... "She insists on yyy"... sounds like you could be hard to get along with.
*You have a disability that while not something you can change, it's just a fact that many people will take a pass on someone in a wheelchair. (from your other thread) This reduces the possible matches for you right from the start. To overcome this, you should try to make yourselves more fun, attractive, etc. in other ways.
*You want to be "friends first", which you say is somewhere between jumping in bed on the first date and polyamory. But you don't say much in either of your threads that gives guidance on how long someone can expect to wait. And so far, you haven't swung at all... do you really want to, or do you just want to think you're the swinging type?
*You don't understand that swingers want to swing, not just hang out with other swingers.
*You think swinging will happen "when you least expect it". I am with Menage on this (fabulous post Menage!!)... finding swing partners takes effort, at least for all but a few people.
Whew...
I'd say you have a lot stacked up against you, some of which you can unstack with a bit of effort, some of which will remain the same.
I think should look at how you can be more positive and accomodating to other people, because so far it looks like they have to accomodate you a lot. If people have to work around too many things, it makes you that much less attractive as swing partners
or as friends.