[oncewere]

I try never to tell anyone anything I wouldn't want to show up in the newspaper. Less trouble that way.

I also don't like being put into the position of having to keep a secret so when someone asks me if I can keep a secret I tell them:

Your secret is as safe with me as it is with you.

That usually discourages them and leaves me curious but that's better than having to get involved in someone else's problems. If they insist I'll still keep it from everyone but my wife.