Hi Jeff and Laurie,
What a crazy, crazy night! I'm so sorry for you. I don't think you two did
anything wrong. You were invited by this couple (they initiated) a night in the hotel to celebrate his birthday. They were both texting you all week that they couldn't wait. They took you to the adult store. They initiated the adult game. It was obvious that the big night out was to be about sex!
It seemed like everything was going great until the game:
"After dinner we went to the hotel and played an adult party game. At that point I started feeling like there was some kind of tension going on. The pacing of the evening seemed wrong."
What happened here? Was he in a great mood up until this time? What about the pace that you mentioned - did it seem rushed? I wonder if his wife did/said something that was a trigger to him, but would have meant nothing to the two of you?
You say you met them recently. Was this to be the first time you'd be having sex with them? Are they newbies? Have they never done this before?
"While he was checking out we had a chance to talk to the lady. He had told her, "I know you really want Jeff, so go ahead." She took him literally. He told her afterward that he was being sarcastic." 
Did he think this was just a sleep-over party? What was he thinking??
One more thought -- is it possible that they were only up for soft swing, this wasn't communicated to you, and instead of saying something he freaked out?