I agree 100% with Spoo and Ths Fuse.
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Originally Posted by meandher2go we have had a few cheaters (men and women) and our thought on it is, we cant or wont change anyones mind, so why bother trying. we dont police other peoples lives. we are NOT the marraige police. If we find a cheater who happens to float our boats, we feel they are a match, we meet with them and see where it goes.
it might not be right, but its how we feel. |
You're representative of the lady mentioned by the OP. You're entitled to your perspective, your set of ethics, and your feelings... as much as we do, and you wouldn't be elegible playmates.
Following the same approach, you may have an STD and not tell anyone just because it would dimish your chances to score, if you infect your playmates because they, let say, engaged in oral without condoms, without being warned, just because "they knew their chances", it would be ok for you.
Now you can claim I am streetching the example, that it wouldn't be the same, but it won't be the same if WE ALL stick to YOUR concepts of what's REAL damage, when for other people, what really cares are THEIR concepts of what's real damage. What matters is if this would be a real damage for the cheated spouse should he/she know. A responsible attitude would be to go to the source for this information, and if the sourse were unreachable, then you may suppose this IS damaging because if not, the guy wouldn't be cheating on the spouse at all.
I cannot care less about YOUR TAKE, once you claim you give a shit about everyone's else take, including mine. Moreover, you're DANGEROUS for me, for my relationship, because I expect our playmates to be as carafull with us as we are with our playmates, and this would be too hard for you, since you're just looking for an easy fuck.
Besides, there is other aspect involved here to address: the way we, as a community, would like to be perceived by the rest of our society.
This careless and unresponsible behavior affects us all, moreover when people claiming to be swingers appologizes for "their right" to behave this way, because this fits all the wrong prejudices most vanilla people have about swingers: people lacking the ethics the rest of the society stands for, people who gives a shit about their acts consecuences for as long as they get what they want.
They may wonder why people like this wouldn't be up to steal or commit any other crime, should they find out a way to avoid being caught. This sole argument would be enough to fire someone from his/her work after knowing he/she's a swinger. I could lose my job on those grounds, just because my boss assume I share YOUR moral standards, when mines are way higher, even higher than the average vanilla guy (not to mention those vanilla guys claiming to have high standards while cheating on their spouses).
So, I believe this is wrong at many, many levels as to remain silent. I draw a line between swinging and "just" recreational sex: swinging requires a responsible attitude, mainly to preserve our relationship, but also to preserve the relationships and the values of those we play with.