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Originally Posted by WesternSwing Well, this got way off tangent, now didn't it?
I think what havefuninsun meant by: had nothing to do with whether or not our activities are views as "wild" by some, but rather someone using us to cheat on their spouse adds an element into swinging that we can't control... the hurt and or jealous spouse that could cause at the least drama for us. This drama could range anywhere from a simple angry phone call to physical, emotional, or financial harm to us.
The term "wild card" was used to describe an uncontrollable variable, not a specific life activity.
I'm sure you saw this too, and as you say are just playing the devil's advocate with your above face-value statement. 
Mr. WS |
Thanks, WS -- that is what I meant.
Our activities are risky. That is a fact. It is MORE risky if we are playing with someone who's spouse doesn't know what is going on. THAT person hasn't given their blessings, they're not in part of the trusted group.
You're right; just because I *think* you're trustworthy doesn't mean you are. The hurt spouse I can guarantee isn't trustworthy; why would they be? What do they have to lose?
The non-knowing spouse is a wild card -- I don't know how they will behave with the knowledge of playing. I'm not willing to take that risk.