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Originally Posted by prettylady When you are invited to visit someones house who makes the first move?
Dog and I went to this couples house a few weeks ago. We played pool all night. It was clear as air that the plan was to play, but hour after hour, we just kept playing pool. Dog tried to move things along by making a strip game of it. Down to no cloths and still nothing? Finally Dog got up put his hand out for the mrs. to take then finally things moved along. We went into thier "playroom" and started to play...with our own partners. Then moved onto playmates. What then struck me as strange we only did oral. At no point did the other couple show interest in sex. We new about their rules, but none stated no intercourse. We then hung out and chatted for awhile. Finally at 5am Dog and I left. I was over the top tired and had to work in just a few short hours, so did Dog.
I'm just not sure what to think about this. If it is your first playdate at someone elses house, should the hosts dictate(to some extent) the movement of the night? If they were a regular play couple the I could see the first move being anyones, but first time?
What do you all think? Still new and feeling things out here.
Your friend,
Prettylady  |
My viewpoint is from the single male perspective, but maybe you can find something useful in my rambling here. As a single male I do let the couple -- especially her, to reassure me that she's comfortable with the situation -- control the pace. But still, I'd probably still defer to the folks hosting the "party".
Prettylady, I'm just curious, was the other couple experienced? Or fairly new to being active in the lifestyle like you two are? If they aren't very experienced the "first move" thing could be very awkward to them, too. If they have some swinging under their belts -- so to speak -- I'm not sure what the problem was.
Anyway, good for Dog, though, for suggesting strip pool. Getting some or all clothes off is a great starting point. Nudity is an icebreaker (that's why hot tubs and skinny-dipping are popular in SwingWorld), but so is casual, caring touch like
Alura mentioned. Thinking about the pool game, the next step might have been to encourage more body contact, say, by then splitting into teams: you and the other guy, and Dog and the other woman. And each team member has to take a shot while leaning over the back of his or her teammate. (I just thought of that, but that seems like it would be fun...
) Or maybe having to take a shot while your partner has his or her arms around your waist. Take it from there.
I've been lucky with most of my encounters at couples' homes or in hotel rooms that somebody has initiated proceedings within an hour or two of my arrival. In those situations I have always left it up to the couple. Sometimes it's been the woman starting things by eventually cozying up to me and we gradually got to kissing and caressing. Another time it was a husband displaying a bottle of oil and suggesting we both give his wife a massage. However, those were experienced couples. Play was not immediate -- we had some good conversations (although I was squirming a little bit
) -- but we got to business in a reasonable amount of time, by my thinking.
So, anyway, if nudity and casual touch are good lead-ins to serious action, maybe you can try massage -- to some extent -- next time. Basic massage only requires willing hands and someone to massage. Make a game out of the guys giving the women foot massages. (Yeah, it may be "sexist", but I have NEVER met a woman who hasn't enjoyed, if not craved, a foot massage.) Then the guys can move up to those sore calves and thighs, etc. Or the guys can massage the womens' hands. (If you haven't had a hand-massage, you're missing something. Think of how much typing, writing, jar-opening, phone-holding, steering-wheel clutching and other stressful hand-motions you do every day and tell me that a hand massage wouldn't feel good.) The women then massage the guys' hands. The women take off the guys shirts so they can massage shoulders. And you can't really give a good back massage through clothing...
Or, start a conversation about exciting encounters you've had before, or if you haven't had that many, start talking about your tamer fantasies and lead into the more exotic ones (you don't want to scare anyone). And ask the other couple about their experiences and fantasies. That might get the juices flowing.
Or just keep talking about how exciting you find the encounter and then suddenly yell, "HELL! GET THE CLOTHES OFF AND LET'S GET AT IT! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" (Use that one at your discretion.)
Discuss.
Thrax