The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Bad Experience

iapr · 03-11-2007, 02:14 PM

Yup what the others said, this is waaayyyy over the top. In fact I can't believe you are serious in actually even asking us this. I don't want to come off as harsh or to rub salt in your wounds or anything but I really think you and your partner need to go clear back to the very starting board and have a real come-to-Jesus meeting. You need to have many heart to heart conversations and come up with what you are really interested in doing along with what your rules and limits and preferences are.

Anyone can have a bad day but this was a bright red screaming, flapping in the wind, red flag highway and you got suckered right into it at every step. Yes dealing with couples is a lot more complex and more work than MFMs but most people have trouble with mutual attraction or getting all 4 peoples schedule to to mesh, this was a disaster waiting to happen.

I am sure you have learned 10,000 lessons and should be giving us all advice after that but to share the best advice we were ever given with you I'll say this - never set goals or go into any meeting with any expectations or objectives. To do so you are setting yourself up for disappointment at best and putting yourself into a vulnerable place to be used, exploited or harmed at worst. The reason for this is if you set goals you will try to achieve them and in so doing you will overlook or ignore warning signs that say to get out of town as fast as you can.

Instead go into every meeting with an open mind but no objectives or expectations and let the mood and the comfort levels determine where things go. And above all else listen to that little voice that tells you something is not right and believe it, that is your survival instinct talking to you.

I guarentee you if you do those things you will decrease the quantity of the encounters that you will have and many times you will part company with the people you meet without having any kind of sexual experience with them but you will have your safety and sanity intact.

And to answer the question of the title of your post, YES, there are many wonderfull people out there that would treat you right and appreciate all that you are but unfortunately there are a number of sickos as well and you always have to be vigilent for them.

03-11-2007, 02:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
iapr Has Left the Building Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 832 Location: State of bliss Status: couple	Re: Bad Experience-are there nice people out there? Yup what the others said, this is waaayyyy over the top. In fact I can't believe you are serious in actually even asking us this. I don't want to come off as harsh or to rub salt in your wounds or anything but I really think you and your partner need to go clear back to the very starting board and have a real come-to-Jesus meeting. You need to have many heart to heart conversations and come up with what you are really interested in doing along with what your rules and limits and preferences are. Anyone can have a bad day but this was a bright red screaming, flapping in the wind, red flag highway and you got suckered right into it at every step. Yes dealing with couples is a lot more complex and more work than MFMs but most people have trouble with mutual attraction or getting all 4 peoples schedule to to mesh, this was a disaster waiting to happen. I am sure you have learned 10,000 lessons and should be giving us all advice after that but to share the best advice we were ever given with you I'll say this - never set goals or go into any meeting with any expectations or objectives. To do so you are setting yourself up for disappointment at best and putting yourself into a vulnerable place to be used, exploited or harmed at worst. The reason for this is if you set goals you will try to achieve them and in so doing you will overlook or ignore warning signs that say to get out of town as fast as you can. Instead go into every meeting with an open mind but no objectives or expectations and let the mood and the comfort levels determine where things go. And above all else listen to that little voice that tells you something is not right and believe it, that is your survival instinct talking to you. I guarentee you if you do those things you will decrease the quantity of the encounters that you will have and many times you will part company with the people you meet without having any kind of sexual experience with them but you will have your safety and sanity intact. And to answer the question of the title of your post, YES, there are many wonderfull people out there that would treat you right and appreciate all that you are but unfortunately there are a number of sickos as well and you always have to be vigilent for them.