[Trixie1966]

This is Mrs. Trixie posting this. I'll start with the I'll try not to make this long speech but we know how that goes. We've been doing mfm for probably 8 years with a few friends and no problems. We decided we'd like to meet a couple so we posted on Swing Lifestyle and have sorted through tons of people but finally met what seemed like a nice couple. We talked to him at length for days, her a little, met them both for dinner, played a little that first night and it was fun. Talked online more and all four decided we wanted to be exclusive. That was cool. She will do anything he says so he is running the show at this point with what they do and from what I can tell, it is that way in every aspect of their life. She and I had talked several times on the phone and felt like I was becoming friends with her and I might add, she is not part of the issue here. She's very sweet and from what I could tell honest and real.

So we are supposed to be exclusive but the first thing that bothered me is when we were chatting online he'd say he was talking to other women but he wasn't meeting them. He said he just liked getting all hot from them and having sex with his partner or me (I'm allowed to play alone as long as Mr. knows). So that was the first red flag. I didn't feel I knew him well enough to trust him 100% in that comment that he didn't have a whole harem of women.

The second thing is that when we were together, he would get out a whip to use on her but he knew I didn't like that but he still hit me with it. That got to the point it ticked me off that he wouldn't stop. No means no. At one point he wrapped the whip around my neck like he was going to strangle me but not to make me pass out at least I don't believe so. He's all about control so I think that is what it was meant to be but it scared me and not to mention hurt my neck.

Fast forward......we played the other night with understanding the she did not have to go full with Mr. Trixie unless she wanted to as we have told her all along since she's not as into the scene as her partner. She did want full with Mr. and that was cool with me. Then the guy started to have sex with me and then stopped not because he or I was done but because he wanted to tease me and be in control which just ticked me off even further given I was already ticked about the whip. At this point she and Mr. Trixie were chatting in another room. I finally get off later, thought the night ended ok even though honestly, he's not the best in bed but it's about the experience and I understand that.

The next day and I IM'd him to say thanks and he's saying I'm weirding him out (which I had done nothing at that point except but what he asked of me), needed to back off and all this crap. So Mr. and I talked and we decided that the guy was treating me in a degrading and controlling way not in that he was using me for sex because hey, that's what this is about huh? lol It's the whipping, the strangling and the always having to be in control that bothered Mr. and I agreed so I called the guy and said we wanted our movie back and I was returning their books I had borrowed.

So I was all classy about it and saying thanks for the fun and he's yelling at me about Mr. got what he wanted from his woman and I didn't tell Mr. my fantasies (which I had told Mr.-that's part of being in the lifestyle) and he was just a huge jerk all the way around to me. I was trying to be classy but I left in tears. He was telling me I didn't belong in the lifestyle, that it was about not having sex but the pursuit (still don't get that comment-I thought sex was part of this???), that he was just trying to give me advice on the lifestyle. I knew at that point Mr. and I were doing the right thing by following our gut instinct on this one. We aren't new to the lifestyle, just to couples.

Now we are just so afraid to meet anyone else. I'm sure lots of you have experienced this. Can you give us some tips on meeting decent couples? What are the red flags we maybe haven't thought of?

Trixie