The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Husband played with female friend after I said not to

transplantdbrit · 03-06-2007, 09:56 AM

Hello everyone. I'm new to the board, but not the lifestyle. My hubby and I have been swinging off and on for about 10 years. It has always been a wonderful experience for both of us. That is until now. We have always had our rules firmly put down, and neither of us broke any of them. Not even stretched them to be honest. You know, same room, full swap okay, singles okay...yadda yadda yadda. For us absolutely no secrecy. Always together and involved. Unfortunately this has now changed.

A couple of weeks ago my husband made a huge mistake with a girlfriend of mine that we had had some fun with numerous times before. Now, we have taken a break from male partners or couples because we are/were trying to add to our family. I did become pregnant, but unfortunately lost the pregnancy at just shy of 6 weeks. The miscarriage happened on Monday two weeks ago. My girlfriend came over to hold my hand while I cried and to let me blather on and try to feel better. That night we were sitting on our bed and I had another good cry with my hubby and girlfriend present. I had taken a RX pain pill and it knocked me out after that. We're talking a tornado couldn't have woken me! Unfortunately sometime around 2am my husband and my girlfriend had sex in my bed with me out like a light. To make matters worse, no condom was used and she was ovulating. Now, we also have the condom rule in our swinging (before anyone asks).

The next morning I actually said thank you to my hubby for understanding my feelings and not doing anything last night. How foolish I feel right now!!! Honestly, I did make myself very clear where I stood as far as fun went, especially on that particular night considering what had happened. My husband didn't bother to say anything to me about his activities. Three days went by and I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. She told me like it was some big joke. The "oh gee..hahaha...I thought he would have had sense enough to pull out". I asked her to please clarify what she was telling me. She did and I was completely stunned. So much so that I actually fell down. So not only did they have no regard for my feelings about losing the baby, they risked her becoming pregnant. I have no idea how I am supposed to feel right now. Sometimes I think I'm okay and can get through this. Other times I want to scream. You see, the reason we are having such a difficult time having a baby is because I am a cancer survivor. It's a miracle I was able to become pregnant in the first place. I guess I felt the loss more than he did. Her period is due this week. If she is expecting, I think I might actually go crazy. Please help me...someone...anyone! I don't care if you have to tell me to do a back-bend and say buddhist chants. I will take any and all advice to heart. Thanks in advance and I'm sorry this is so darn long.

03-06-2007, 09:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
transplantdbrit Active Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 25 Location: kissimmee, florida Status: couple/female half	Husband played with female friend after I said not to Hello everyone. I'm new to the board, but not the lifestyle. My hubby and I have been swinging off and on for about 10 years. It has always been a wonderful experience for both of us. That is until now. We have always had our rules firmly put down, and neither of us broke any of them. Not even stretched them to be honest. You know, same room, full swap okay, singles okay...yadda yadda yadda. For us absolutely no secrecy. Always together and involved. Unfortunately this has now changed. A couple of weeks ago my husband made a huge mistake with a girlfriend of mine that we had had some fun with numerous times before. Now, we have taken a break from male partners or couples because we are/were trying to add to our family. I did become pregnant, but unfortunately lost the pregnancy at just shy of 6 weeks. The miscarriage happened on Monday two weeks ago. My girlfriend came over to hold my hand while I cried and to let me blather on and try to feel better. That night we were sitting on our bed and I had another good cry with my hubby and girlfriend present. I had taken a RX pain pill and it knocked me out after that. We're talking a tornado couldn't have woken me! Unfortunately sometime around 2am my husband and my girlfriend had sex in my bed with me out like a light. To make matters worse, no condom was used and she was ovulating. Now, we also have the condom rule in our swinging (before anyone asks). The next morning I actually said thank you to my hubby for understanding my feelings and not doing anything last night. How foolish I feel right now!!! Honestly, I did make myself very clear where I stood as far as fun went, especially on that particular night considering what had happened. My husband didn't bother to say anything to me about his activities. Three days went by and I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. She told me like it was some big joke. The "oh gee..hahaha...I thought he would have had sense enough to pull out". I asked her to please clarify what she was telling me. She did and I was completely stunned. So much so that I actually fell down. So not only did they have no regard for my feelings about losing the baby, they risked her becoming pregnant. I have no idea how I am supposed to feel right now. Sometimes I think I'm okay and can get through this. Other times I want to scream. You see, the reason we are having such a difficult time having a baby is because I am a cancer survivor. It's a miracle I was able to become pregnant in the first place. I guess I felt the loss more than he did. Her period is due this week. If she is expecting, I think I might actually go crazy. Please help me...someone...anyone! I don't care if you have to tell me to do a back-bend and say buddhist chants. I will take any and all advice to heart. Thanks in advance and I'm sorry this is so darn long.