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Originally Posted by jtboy Thank you all for your advice. I was kinda hoping that maybe I was just off kilter a bit and that if I sought advice, you could steer me more correct, but it appears as though my 'issues' with this are justified. Now it may have been the wrong decision to let me wife read my post, but I believe that is what being open is all about. She says that she doesn't have a 'thing' for him and also says that he has never been around him without her or him having let me know at the time. Which I known to be a false claim...either way, with your advice, I think it's pretty clear what the right thing to do is. Once again, thank you all. |
The part in bold is what tells me that she is not on the right page for swinging. Honesty, as many here could probably say, is the backbone for swinging and doing it in a manner that will not cause a lot of problems. The fact that you know she is being less than truthful should really raise alarms. Until she can be completely honest and forthcoming and you with her, swinging should be put on the back burner. IMO anyway.
When venturing into swinging, ALOT of questions are going to be asked on both sides. The answers need to be completely honest. Until this is possible swinging shouldn't be. Again, just my opinion. But if my husband could not be honest with me about a "friend" showing up unnannounced, there is no way I could believe that he would be honest about the hard questions swinging will raise.
I applaud your ability to be open minded enough to want to fulfill her fantasy. And I also applaud her for coming to you with it rather than just doing it behind your back. But for some reason I get this niggling feeling you are not being told the whole truth. Like iapr I am beginning to question motives here. I am by no means accusing anyone of anything. It simply sounds as if maybe there is more to the story than you are being told judging from what you have written. I could be completely wrong though. Wouldn't be the first time either. But if it were me in your shoes, I would be asking my spouse a whole lot of questions and have a whole lot of suspicions running through my mind. Again though, I could be wrong. You are there and know more about the situation than I do. Good luck to you in this and good luck to your wife.
MLK